um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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