Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize