Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
