dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
