dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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