I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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