Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize