let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize