If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
