i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
