just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
