i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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