I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
