well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
