He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
