pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
