Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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