just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
