would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
