if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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