you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
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This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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