I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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