you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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