She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
