i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
