can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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