Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
