I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
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this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
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in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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