Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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