i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
PANTIES FOUND
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