Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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