tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
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there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
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All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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