i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
