Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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