Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
