it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
