so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
