I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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