The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
