Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize