imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
