new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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