North Korea, Best Korea!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize