This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
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It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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