I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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