Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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