At least make sure they are 18
Why
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
