You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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