Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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