Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
