Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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