Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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