It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?