This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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