it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
