I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
