your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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