How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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