I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
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Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
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Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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